Once upon a time, I sent a package to a land far, far away.
And then today, it came back.
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Last month, in preparation for Cora’s birthday, I bought a gift, a card, and a mailing envelope for said gift and card. I assembled the package with enough time for it to reach its destination before her actual birthday, which is quite the exercise in forethought, fore-shopping and fore-mailing.
All I needed was her address in Colorado.
My initial instinct was to call my mom because she undoubtedly has tabs on her child’s current location, but worried she wouldn’t be home to look for the address in the mound of “important notes” she keeps piled near the kitchen telephone.
Instead, I opted to text Harold because I figured he would surely have the address with him. You know, IN HIS MIND, because that’s where he LIVES.
He texted back quickly, and I jotted the address on the package, ran to the post office on my lunch break, and came back to my office so triumphant that I told my coworkers about the miraculous nature of having the gift scheduled to arrive a day early.
Now, fast forward a week or so.
September 20 — the big day — arrives, and I wish Cora a brief “happy birthday” over IM because, after all, she’s supposed to have already received my nifty card and gift.
On September 21 I realize that Cora never said anything about her gift. Odd.
Time passes……….
And more time passes……..
And even more time passes………..
And finally so much time passes that Cora and I try to search out a logical explanation for why the package was never delivered.
Now’s the time for you to glance up at the photo I posted of my returned gift. This is my warning to all the world: brother-in-laws are not to be trusted!!!
(Just kidding. Oh, and Harold, when are we going to finish my blog redesign? I think you have a debt to repay….)
